Peeves Are Perfect Pets

Wondering if pet peeves are for you? If you have just a little time to spend nurturing your peeves, they'll repay you a thousandfold. Pet peeves can bring so much joy into your life...

• A pet peeve can turn a petty annoyance into an occasion for one of the simplest, purest, and finest of human pleasures... bitching.
• A pet peeve never leaves you at a loss for a topic of conversation.
• You can take your pet peeves anywhere.
• A pet peeve can help bring out your personality.

Peeves are easy to care for...

• A peeve can subsist for years on a moderate dose of righteous indignation.
• If you care for your peeves properly, they'll multiply all by themselves. Unlike other pets, peeves are actually easier to keep in large numbers, because they feed one another. A hundred peeves are no more burden than one. Peeves love your attention, but attention paid to their relatives is almost as good as attention paid to themselves.

Finally, a word on peeve training: Like any pet, a peeve can become unruly and destructive if not properly controlled. A peeve run amok can wreak havoc with your mind. Follow a few simple peeve management rules, and you'll be fine.